If you’re having COVID problems I feel bad for you, son:
for each 99 tests given – there’s a sole positive one.
Forty-million tests conducted; that’s why cases are so high.
But as far as PPE, we’re still a bit short on supply.
We have made a lot of progress, with our strategy in place.
It goes out in one location, then it shows its ugly face.
But we’ve learned a lot – the whos and whats and wheres and also why it’s
roaring back – or so says Fauci. A resurgence? I deny it.
As we celebrate the birthday of the greatest place on earth,
I give speeches of less value than their printed paper’s worth.
The history of our country: I provided a review,
starting right at the beginning – which was 1492.
No one lived here ‘til Columbus (here I got a bit creative)
sailed across the ocean blue – except for people who were native.
And upon our U.S. soil Columbus never quite made landfall,
so it kind of makes you question all those statues where he stands tall.
My favorite limey – Churchill – said that history was written
by the victors. So then why is it that I’m so clearly smitten
With Confederacy generals and statues that commemorate?
It’s simple: they are heroes my supporters don’t condemn or hate.
I am claiming that the left-wing co-opts history for rewrite.
My informal campaign slogan has become: “It’s great to be white.”
I’m pretending there’s no legacy that lingers due to slavery,
and offering a version of our past that I think favors me.
All my ramblings about honoring our history’s a ruse:
I’m just trying to keep coronavirus deaths out of the news.
So I’ll state that fact is fiction, and promote my own illusion:
that our future’s not in unity but, rather, in exclusion.