I can’t think of any activity duller
Than having the Dems hold a sit-down with Mueller.
I’ve now said on Twitter – my new bully pulpit –
Bob Mueller’s report is a big load of bullshit.
While last week I said William Barr’s the decider,
The gap between William and Bob now seems wider.
The narrative I’m spinning paints me as victim;
Barr’s backed me up – will his friend Bob contradict him?
Don’t think for a second I’ll grant Dems a redo,
Despite saying last week that I would agree to
Permitting Bob Mueller to testify freely.
I’d like this whole thing to be done with, ideally.
Two years of my term I consider as stolen;
I had great big plans that the Dems put a hole in.
And now that I managed to sidestep disaster
I’m due reparations, says Falwell the pastor.
So, onward and upward: first, I must apply these
Increased tariff costs to all goods from the Chinese.
And then there’s Iran, where I’m sending a strike group
While tensions are threatening to boil over, like soup.
“Economy’s booming!” I should be proclaiming –
Instead, I’m obsessed with reprisals and blaming.
The pundits suggest I’m concerned; I say, “Who, me?”
But Bob under oath? Man, I’m worried he’ll screw me.