Don’t Parade On My Reign

I canceled a parade that had already been postponed.
I blamed it all on DC’s mayor, as my tweet intoned.
The Pentagon said costs had gone beyond a fair amount:
Over 90 million dollars, as of the most recent count.

Just like everybody else, I love a great parade.
My favorite thing to revel in when I’m not throwing shade.
But DC’s Mayor Bowser felt she had to launch a shakedown,
And now negotiations culminated in a breakdown.

20 million dollars just to march troops through DC.
And here I thought pedestrians could walk through town for free!
Mayor Bowser says costs for the cops are not a trifle —
But why do we need flatfoots when each soldier has a rifle?

My dad, when I was younger, said, “Son, your behavior saddens me.”
So he decided I’d be shipped off to a strict academy.
I was a top cadet and learned to love all customs military.
Would have served my country (but for feet – also, it’s really scary.)

The Pentagon suggested we delay this thing a year,
But that’s the kind of news your favorite Pres don’t like to hear.
I’m tired of the back and forth, this endless song and dance.
I’ll go to Andrews Air Force Base instead, then fly to France.

The French know how to do this: throw parades with great élan.
My inspiration here came as I saw one with Macron.
I love to chat with Manny; often call him on my cell phone.
(Sometimes I wake him up since I’m not sure which is his time zone.)

I’m not sure why the Pentagon requires this delay;
You know I get quite petulant when things don’t go my way.
I am a man of action, and I don’t like that they’re cautious.
Perhaps they think, in twelve months’ time, I won’t still be in office.

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