In the Nikki of Time, or Going to Haley in a Handbasket

I came to most people’s attention back when, in response to a State of the Union,
I criticized Trump without once ever saying his name.
But when he went on to prevail in the coming election, some thought I’d be ruined,
And only within my state’s borders would be future fame.

But, as you now know, Donald called me and asked if I’d work for him at the U.N.
I’d move to Manhattan and leave Carolina behind.
Without hesitation, I took up his offer. I didn’t ask “If I…” but “When?”
Bright lights and big city were two things I sure wouldn’t mind.

I sit at my seat with a great big thick binder, and tell everyone who resents us
The U.S. on Donald Trump’s watch will not take any crap.
I told everyone we were taking down names of the countries that voted against us.
Each time that they do this, another pin goes in my map.

So far, for the most part, I’ve managed to dodge all his outbursts – unlike many others.
Subjected to tongue-lashings maybe just once; perhaps twice.
He wishes I hadn’t defended his women accusers, if he had his druthers.
But we papered over it later, again making nice.

However, complaints came that I’d misunderstood about Russia. I called and said, “Hey, boss!
You told me more sanctions were coming, so what is this news?
You sent your new boy Larry Kudlow to dial it all back and to put on the kibosh.
Let’s make one thing clear now between us — I don’t get confused.”

Now Russia is waiting to hear your decision regarding next actions unveiled.
More chaos to deal with. Again, you have gotten engulfed.
Please straighten this out. My political path toward the White House must not be derailed.
Or else I’ll become the next source for your pal Michael Wolff.

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