Vlad All Over

While the rest of the world seems appalled about Vlad
and his steps toward a war – I, for one, am quite glad.
I believe that my dear Russian comrade’s a “genius.”
It’s clear I believe there’s still ardor between us.

In the choice between freedom – or none – in Ukraine,
I support savvy Vladimir Putin, whose brain
is quite nearly the equal of mine, folks, and hence
I embrace him with zeal (but, no longer, Mike Pence).

Putin says at least two parts of Ukraine are sovereign,
so he plans to send in a peacekeeping squadron,
like we should commence at our southernmost border.
I’m clearly aroused by this brand-new world order.

I know Putin quite well; in fact – very, very.
He’s long been my friend. Biden’s my adversary.
Some say I’m deranged – what the hell do they know?
Know who else praises Vlad? Now-slim Mike Pompeo.

Have you heard of my new internet apparatus?
I call it “Truth Social” (its rollout: disastrous).
It’s gonna be better than Twitter – purportedly.
(That’s good – since it’s now the sole outlet afforded me).

I make these pronouncements the world finds are shocking,
while Joe Biden’s manhood I’ll keep right on mocking,
and give my ascent to this tyrant so vile –
all to stay on the front page, and boost my profile.

It’s clear I intend to return to the White House
(although sans Melania – my now out-of-sight spouse).
That rebound will be a most splendid occasion
(assuming I skate on alleged tax evasion).

I throw my support behind candidates who’ll,
when compared to incumbents, appear to be fools.
And yet my endorsement they gladly accept
(that’s because, to a person, they’re dim and inept).

It’s just one more sign of the breadth of my ego
to hold up a potentate as mi amigo.
Democracy? Feh… as a concept, it’s done –
and that’s why I keep on proclaiming I won.

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