Distressed Address

This may be the most important speech I’ve ever made:
a chance to share conspiracies, and also throw some shade.
We used to have elections in a day; not anymore,
so let me share thoughts – none of which you’d give a penny for.

I have no higher duty than defending all our laws –
except when they apply to me (please stifle your guffaws).
We must support elections that are free and also fair.
(That’s only if I won – a loss means fraud I will declare.)

Three-quarters of an hour was the length of time I bellowed.
It’s clear that, since Election Day, not one whit have I mellowed.
I shared countless conspiracies, all which have been disproven,
but I’ll latch on to any scheme if it keeps me from losin’.

I led the charge of GOP success – so it’s statistically
impossible that I could lose, I stated narcissistically.
The words I’m saying now will be disparaged and demeaned,
but worth one final shot before electors are convened.

I’ve made it clear I feel this was a national disgrace.
I spoke with an expression of disgust upon my face.
A speech filled with absurdities, but here’s what’s most absurd:
a record day for Covid deaths – yet I said not a word.

An enemy, I labelled Raffensperger, of the people,
while over many people’s eyes I’m trying to pull sheep’s wool.
As I make these unfounded claims, you really should be wary –
since truths contained within there’s not a single solitary.

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