It’s clear I’ve won and can’t be caught.
Joe Biden’s effort – all for naught.
My lead is strong; can’t be surmounted
(as long as mail-in votes aren’t counted).
Now, really: I don’t mean to gloat,
but fuck your lousy mail-in vote.
The ballot count should be suspended
once polls close, as God intended.
While I’m self-congratulating,
some states are still tabulating.
Patience I don’t find a virtue;
jump the gun I’d much prefer to.
Counts don’t have to be complete –
that way, it’s easier to cheat.
I’m fine with ambiguity;
corruption suits me to a T.
So don’t add more votes to the list;
I’ll work to get them all dismissed.
Fair and free I mock, you see –
A sad day for democracy.