He’s Mailing It In Now

I’ll set the record for votes cast
in hopes I’ll finish first, not last.
If one vote’s good, then two are better;
ignore the spirit and the letter
of the laws regarding voting.
Here’s the latest scheme I’m floating:
Vote by mail, and then again
in-person; see what happens when
you try to vote another time.
(Some say that constitutes a crime.)
They tabulate your mail-in vote?
The chance of fraud might be remote.
They let you cast a second ballot?
Leaves a sour taste on my palate.
I’ve counseled that’s what you should do
(perhaps I didn’t think this through);
to vote twice is a felony:
at polls, on top of absentee.
And while the risk is miniscule,
I’m trying to make the case that you’ll
be cheated on Election Day
if Dems – as I suspect – just may
send unsought ballots through the mail.
I’ll claim fraud on a massive scale;
some folks don’t want to exercise
their constitutional franchise.
Instead, they’ll choose to sit this out –
their ballots we can do without;
a plebiscite dumped in their lap.
Encourage votes? I sense a trap.
A rigged election: it could lurk
if votes crawl out of the woodwork.
I’ve got the backing of Bill Barr –
who’s unsure what each state’s laws are.
Elective pandemonium:
please vote – don’t stop at only one.

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