Putt Your Foot In Your Mouth

You know how it felt when you lined up a putt
with a length of three feet? It looked straightforward – but
then it veered to the left, or it rolled ‘round and lipped out?
That’s just like when cops… oops, a gaffe almost slipped out.

A jet plane took off from a city unnamed, filled
with thugs dressed in black, anarchists who became skilled
at spawning big damage. At first just a few, then
more thugs came on board; I’m not sure they were human.

What most women want, I believe, is security,
most notably when I’m around – they’re unsure of me.
We’ve got to have safety for redheads and blonde ones,
since it’s common knowledge I never use condoms.

Who’s pulling Joe Biden’s strings? Dark shadow people
who, using a heretofore unknown technique, will
control what he’s saying and make him a marionette.
He’ll get mail-in votes; more than I ordinarily get.

I know what the Blacks want, and also Hispanics.
I know more than Planck about thermodynamics.
I know how to tell a bad cop from a choker.
I know my first term’s been, at best, mediocre.

Mike Pence stands by, just in case someone invokes
that amendment. Like, if I had had mini-strokes
(which I didn’t), or else if my judgment’s impaired…
Seems that swap already should have been declared.

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