A School’s Errand

We must open schools once comes end of this summer.
If schools don’t reopen, then kids will be dumber.
We must resume teaching with classroom-bound pupils.
So what if the risk from the virus quadruples?

If kids are in school, then their mothers and fathers
can go back to work and rake in hard-earned dollars.
If on the bus off to school each girl and boy went,
we’d bypass the need to extend unemployment.

The CDC guidelines are tough and expensive.
The parents of schoolkids might be apprehensive
about sending children back indoors for schooling,
but if schools stay closed, I’ll cut funding – no fooling!

In Germany, Denmark, and Sweden, and Norway,
their schools are wide open. As I’ve said before, they
cannot hold a candle to testing we’ve done – that, and
unlike right here, there the curve has been flattened.

Children are young and sure bets to stay healthy,
so that’s why Mike Pence and I plan to compel the
school districts in each state to open their doors up.
We’ll just have to deal with it, once COVID soars up.

The guidelines the CDC wrote are irrelevant;
I know more than they do (I’m way more intelligent).
We’ll hand out new bookbags and pencils and rulers
and hope for the best with our return-to-schoolers.

Once children are back at their desks, I’m suggesting,
they’ll be more successful at standardized testing.
Of course, there are those who have side-stepped decorum –
and paid to have friends take their SATs for them.

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