The crisis is now being handled; most areas doing quite well.
We’ve seen a few flare-ups, we’ll put out the fires: soon enough, we’ll announce its death knell.
Ignore the reports that it’s surging, the experts are quick to cry, “Danger!”
And I’ll wear a mask if I have to, as long as it makes me look like the Lone Ranger.
The Lone Ranger’s partner was Tonto, a brave and unflappable Injun.
(That term’s not offensive, it’s part of our heritage – no reason for you to cringe some.)
It’s just like Confederate soldiers: not their fault they fought on the wrong side;
a fight for their right to keep people oppressed is the reason that all in that throng died.
And now: angry, liberal fascists are trying to rewrite our history.
(The fact that my message is one of division should not really come as a mystery.)
They want to erase our proud culture, which I will describe as “resplendent”
(remembering that the Confederacy didn’t want Blacks to be independent).
But anyway… back to the virus: it’s like when our nation was founded –
a band of bold patriots rallied together once they found themselves all surrounded.
They fought to be free from oppression; their battle for freedom persistent.
A group of brave people – like those today who won’t wear masks or be socially distant.
The message to hate their own country is now being taught to our children
(to hear all the names of Confederate generals still down my spine makes a chill run).
And if, in the 1700s, our nation was plagued by a virus,
I’m certain our founders’ refusal to lead by example would surely inspire us.
And so, on our great nation’s birthday – on land that we stole from the natives –
I offer a partisan message to clarify what I believe the debate is:
The way to assure that our future is going to be better and greater
is not to embrace what our differences are; rather – throw in our lot with the haters.