Word Salad Days

The opposite meaning of “nice” is “unnice.”
If your house has more than just one mouse, you’ve got mice.
This virus from China is down to mere traces:
Once we stop the testing, we’ll see no more cases.

The plural of moose is, surprisingly, “moose.”
What some might call a “rope,” others know is a “noose.”
When the polls say I’m losing, I say that they’re biased.
I keep making claims my approval’s the highest.

I state the economy’s best of all time.
While I never take blame, any credit’s all mine.
That big border wall? So far, not much that’s new.
I’ve made thousands of claims that we all know aren’t true.

While some use the term “protesters,” I prefer “terrorists.”
There’s more bad news coming – you know who the bearer is.
The rallies I’ve held are not socially distant.
Obamacare: awful! My plan: nonexistent.

I flip-flop on issues as I do on word choice.
I call Biden “sleepy,” yet I speak with slurred voice.
I say mail-in voting will lead to a scandal.
That whole DREAMer program, I’d love to dismantle.

In my second term, here are all my priorities:
Make sure we continue to hold down minorities,
And take away health care from people who need it.
If advice doesn’t come from my gut – I won’t heed it.

I’m all for experience, but let’s take a breather:
It’s talent that’s tops – yet I don’t have that, either.
You make some mistakes, and to fix it you fire them.
Good judgment; integrity: I don’t require them.

My campaign re-launch has been weak and uneven,
Perhaps since I can’t say just what I believe in.
But I’ve gained expertise, or else something that passes,
And now – with both hands – I can find where my ass is.

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