The Great Self-Congratulator

I’ve been treated worse than Lincoln
By the press because – I’m thinkin’ –
When I ramble and I bully
They don’t understand me, fully.

When their questions are horrendous
I will cut them short, to end this
Storm of anger, hatred, bias –
Their approach I find impious.

I poll better now than Abe did:
From this, I can’t be dissuaded –
Even though ’twere no polls back then.
(I’ve done more than he for black men.)

Hundred-thousand deaths we might hit.
Virus history? I’ll rewrite it.
I am making claims already:
I was not told, “This is deadly.”

I say, “Vaccine’s coming this year.”
Experts say, “Something’s amiss here;
Vaccines take a lot of time, so
Left unstated are provisos.”

Abe left DC in a hearse,
Yet I claim I’ve been treated worse.
His term was ended by assassin;
Mine: by folly and dispassion.