Despite the things some people say, I’m President – I call the shots.
My warrant is legitimate; there’s nothing in the least ersatz.
If I resolve to open up the country, that is my decision.
Somewhere in the Constitution, I’ve been told, is that provision.
While I’d claimed this resolution’s mine to make (I’d flip a switch),
My plan to open up by first of May has hit a little hitch:
That choice belongs to governors of fifty states and territories;
So much for the use of powers I thought were declaratory.
Record unemployment, and of course the death rate’s still ascending.
I’m on TV every day; relentlessly I keep pretending
This will all get better soon – I prance and preen just like a rock star.
If it doesn’t, there for blame the Fake News, China and Barack are.
Every single thing we did since this pandemic’s start was right:
I’ll prove it with a video – would someone please turn down the lights?
Here’s a bunch of dates and actions (February’s absence noted).
I’m on the defensive here, so my reprovals are full-throated.
W.H.O. has funding cut, since their mistakes have led to
So much death. I’m trying to lay this at their feet – the fact this spread through
Our great nation, even though I’ve half-assed while this plague advances.
One thing that it’s killed for sure, I fear: my re-election chances.