Would you like a thousand dollars? I will get it to you quick.
Stop the economic free-fall: I think this’ll do the trick.
You can put it in your bank account, or spend it on some food.
Just a little thing I thought I’d do to brighten people’s mood.
Suddenly, I’m taking this coronavirus soberly
Whereas for several months I did not seem to be that overly
Concerned with what was happening, outside of market impacts.
As of now – I seem prepared to face a set of very grim facts.
I called it a pandemic long before they coined the term,
Even though I claimed it wouldn’t leave that many folks infirm.
I threw words around like “hoax” and “fake news” and “under control.”
Now, of course, the job I’m doing I ask minions to extol.
Don’t expect me to admit to any change in my demeanor;
I continue to insist no way this could have been foreseen or
Handled differently – it wasn’t a big deal until a month ago.
The buck stops somewhere else; that’s why I got Mike Pence to run the show.
Tests are coming (not the German one; we’d rather make our own).
Things are going to get better, but just when remains unknown.
In the meantime, my approach to this disaster will be solemn –
Since each step I’ve taken so far ended up in the loss column.