I have used two very big words –
They are *national emergency*.
Yet it still seems I am lacking
Any true sense here of urgency.
Best advice throughout this crisis:
Don’t go out; instead, stay in.
You’ll feel better when you hear
That I might pardon Michael Flynn.
Please pay heed to what Mike Pence says
(Although I don’t) – that’s because he
Is the one I’ve put in charge here.
I’m fixated on Benghazi.
Don’t shake hands or offer kisses
To your favorite guy or female.
Meantime, I will keep my focus
Upon Clinton and her email.
Other presidents would fail you;
Now, it takes a very rare sort:
I alone took steps that led to
Overcrowding at the airports.
Just as soon as temps get warmer
We will see this virus taper.
There’s no reason we should be
All out of goddam toilet paper.
I make brazen proclamations –
Then my staff issues retractions,
As I whine that I get insufficient
Credit for my actions.
Every day, despite my bluster,
There’s a new, more dire warning.
Gains I bragged about on Friday?
All wiped out by Monday morning.
Nothing I have done so far
Has stopped the market’s epic tumble.
There is one big word to sum up
What I’ve done so far – it’s “fumble.”