A Rip-Roaring Speech

What’s the matter, Nancy? You seemed a tad upset
When I wouldn’t shake your hand and spun a little pirouette.
As I dove into my speech, you very often looked distracted
As I made all sorts of claims for legislation I’ve enacted.

The state of our great union is much stronger than before.
(Despite the fact that, with Iran, I almost went to war.)
A prosperous society we’re building; it’s inclusive.
(By which I mean for rich folks who are white, almost exclusive.)

Obama-era policies – thank God that I’ve reversed them.
(No mention of Ukraine and all my efforts to coerce them.)
When speaking of my tax cuts, you could see I nearly bellowed.
(Ignoring all the trillions that they’re adding to our debt load.)

I’ve made a pledge – it’s ironclad – and I’ll keep on insisting:
All patients I’ll protect who have conditions pre-existing.
(But nothing’s further from the truth than when I make that statement;
My focus all along’s been on Obamacare’s abatement.)

I never will let socialism ruin all your health care.
(My targets: Bernie Sanders, and the Squad, and all who dwell there.)
I handed out a scholarship to pay for someone’s school choice,
Then laid into rogue immigrants and crime, using a cruel voice.

I said our days of being used, and even being scorned,
Are over. All our allies put on notice: you’ve been warned.
I made it clear the right to keep and bear arms I’ve supported.
(A Parkland victim’s dad objected: out he was escorted.)

I made the claim that wages for the blue-collar are booming.
(For jobs in many sectors, though, a slowdown may be looming.)
I bragged about the southern border wall, a grand enclosure:
It’s long and tall and powerful. (A strong wind blew it over.)

America’s the place, I said, where anything can happen:
My chance to win in 2016? Few believed it back then.
Fast-forward three years later; now you all see where I’m headed:
I’ve ripped our land asunder – like that speech that Nancy shredded.

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