We’re not sure precisely when, and not that sure precisely where,
But attacks were clearly imminent – and likely over *there*.
Soleimani was a bad dude, and we’re glad his ass is fried,
But the reason we went after him? Can’t tell you: CLASSIFIED.
Stepping into the Grand Foyer, sunshine on me like a halo,
I said all you should be grateful since Iran now plans to lay low.
While their missiles barely touched us, seems a few took down an airplane.
All aboard from other nations, so I’m not concerned with their pain.
Many Dems – and some Republicans – dissatisfied with briefings:
Short on facts and motivations, so just take our word for these things.
Since we killed a really bad man, I’m not sure what all the fuss was.
And don’t question what we tell you, since it’s clear that you can trust us.
Then I stood up at a rally and said embassies were targets
Of those radical Islamics and their goddam flying carpets.
Not just Baghdad but some others in their sights to be demolished,
So I launched that night-time drone strike so their plans would be abolished.
There’s no war here, it’s all good now… well, unless you had a ticket
On that plane Iran has shot down; guess that wasn’t really cricket.
But don’t blame me for that mishap; it’s Ukraine’s job now to handle.
I will brag I did the right thing – and ignore the looming scandal.