Abusing my power’s not even a crime;
This impeachment is lighter than air.
Turn on the TV – it’s quite clear that I’m
Still insisting this all is unfair.
There was nothing done wrong here to which I’ll admit,
And Republicans all stand behind me.
Once it gets to the Senate, they’ll quickly acquit
Since the GOP follows me blindly.
And right on the heels of the IG’s report,
With Bill Barr and the FBI sparring,
My pal Sergey Lavrov stopped by, just for sport.
His appearance some pundits found jarring.
This push to impeach me is clearly a sham,
Promoted by Dems who are desperate.
As far as obstruction, I don’t give a damn –
Cooperate? I’ve got no zest for it.
From our Constitution, I claim that I’m granted
Immense and unfettered dominion.
So, from my perspective, it’s clear why I’ve ranted
Against all conflicting opinion.
Right now the support from my party’s unbroken.
So far, that’s been par for the course.
Against my imperial view no one’s spoken,
Or uttered a word of remorse.
And yet, by my name there will soon be an asterisk,
Due to impeachment proceedings.
Those who support me throughout this disaster risk
Chance of election-time beatings.
Don’t count me out, since you know I’m a genius.
(I’ve said that so often, the name’s stuck.)
But if I keep treating truth as inconvenience,
This time next year – I’ll be a lame duck.
The Trump Poems 