Double, Double, Toilet Trouble

I hate these left-wing, low-flow toilets;
Recently, I said to Rudy:
“Government just had to spoil it;
Tell you how to flush your doody.”

Back when one flush was sufficient,
You heard WHOOSH! All gone, no odor;
Sent your poop to where the fish went.
Now you flush, and look! – a floater.

We’ll look at faucets very strongly,
Bathroom elements, and showers.
This decision was made wrongly;
I’ll reverse with my great powers.

I’m a noted germophobe – I
Wash my hands with some compulsion.
Part of my need for control, by
Doling out hand soap emulsion.

Water doesn’t flow, it dribbles;
Makes it hard to scrub detritus.
One more stupid rule by lib’rals.
Next thing you know – hepatitis!

Light bulbs have become expensive;
Nearly all are now fluorescing.
I find their glow quite offensive –
Orange skin is quite depressing.

I now live in Florida
But do not care to look like citrus.
(Is this being recorded? A
Concern you’ll doubt my mental fitness.)

Here’s another thing to mourn – the
Cost of cars. Another duel, which
I blame all on California.
Fuel-efficiency? That’s foolish.

Time that I am spending flushing
Could be used for statute take-down.
Toward impeachment Dems are rushing –
All moot, if I have a breakdown.

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