Somebody Vaped Me

I now hear that vapers are voters,
So my latest reversal that’s big is:
There’s a chance they’ll become Trump promoters
If I let them hold onto their e-cigs.

You’ll recall in the news: deaths from vaping,
And I said – can’t let kids be affected.
But it looks as if there’s no escaping:
I must cede, or won’t be re-elected.

I first called for a ban on all flavors,
Both for fruity- and menthol-type tokers.
Hoped to spur youthful allowance-savers
To give up and turn into ex-smokers.

When it comes to the health of our young ones
I first said I would clear out the market.
But then vapers will file some injunctions,
While they paint on my back a big target.

So I hosted a meeting with experts,
And those parties all staked out positions.
I kept twisting around ‘til my neck hurt.
(It’s a good thing we’d brought in physicians.)

As the meeting became quite contentious,
We could only agree on the age limit.
While I thought I’d come out with consensus,
Only option I have at this stage – spin it.

An alliance? It seems I can’t build one,
Since this meeting did nothing to clear the air.
So, as far as my pledge to our children:
I’m just blowing smoke – I don’t sincerely care.

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