Flunky See, Flunky Do

I didn’t watch hearings; I couldn’t be bothered.
Whatever those witnesses claimed to hear? Not heard.
Whatever was stated as fact was mistaken.
There cannot be sizzle without any bacon.

Attention? None – I was too busy to pay.
(Though I made time to retweet throughout the long day.)
Besides, I had Ratcliffe and Jordan and Nunes:
Their pictures appear when you look up what “goon” is.

You know how I feel about Schiff – he’s quite shifty.
To all of his facts we are giving short shrift. We’d
Prefer to keep claiming: A tat? There’s no tit-for;
He can’t prove the office of Pres I’m unfit for.

Taylor provided the day’s biggest bombshell
(For now, let us sidestep his service in ‘Nam). Cell
Phone out in the open; his aide heard a snippet
Of Sondland and me (how I wish I’d said, “Zip it!”)

I asked for an update, or so it’s alleged,
Regarding a probe that Zelenskyy had pledged
To initiate. Sondland was then caught confidin’
My number one interest was nailing Joe Biden.

The GOP claims: Day One? Big nothing-burger.
The Dems and their lawyer are all saboteurs. Sure,
The optics look bad and my defense, precarious.
My side offers praise – all while Schiff works to bury us.