This is the way I negotiate:
Unscripted, just free-associate.
That’s my approach; it has done very well.
Here is my strategy in one word: “Yell.”
I skipped a meeting on climate change,
Said there were others that I’d arranged.
My seat sat empty while there were discussions:
Amazon burning, and big repercussions.
Issues like climate and gender: niche.
I’m not a choir member, so don’t preach.
Let all the rest meet on those topics – not I;
I’ll scrounge for that new chicken sandwich from Popeye’s.
The Chairman of China on Friday was
Our enemy; on the wrong side he was.
And then, three days later, I said he was brilliant –
A clear contradiction of my prior shrill vent.
I said I might meet with Rouhani.
(An idea Macron thrust upon me.)
I said I am open if they are good players.
(Unlike all the Danes, who are Greenland-betrayers.)
I made claims that many were rootin’
As I said, “C’mon – bring back Putin.”
I blamed Obama, said he’d been outsmarted;
They all looked at me as if I had just farted.
I called this meeting successful –
Others, perhaps, found it stressful.
Next year we’ll meet at Doral; it’s a place where
I’ll make a few bucks – and perhaps can save face there.