I really put a lot of pressure on the Chairman of the Fed –
Without a cut in interest rates, my re-election chances: dead.
Since the economy’s performance is approaching hebetudinous
I want the Fed to jump-start stimulation that’s eludin’ us.
And even though I really don’t grasp economics fully,
That has not prevented me from criticizing like a bully
The inaction of this Chairman, who has not capitulated
To the wild and crazy rate reductions I have stipulated.
Chairman Powell announced a cut, but just a minimal reduction.
I don’t feel he’s done enough to boost investment or production.
While I claim that, due to me, now our economy’s the greatest,
If a backward slide begins, voters will send me on hiatus.
I keep mentioning a concept: it’s called “quantitative tightening,”
And I try to make it sound like what the Fed has done is frightening,
When most economic experts say the thing that they have prayed for
Is for me to call an end to these disastrous global trade wars.
If it were not for the Fed, the Dow Jones average would be higher,
And the Gross Domestic Product would ignite and catch on fire.
That’s the truth – you can ignore what the economists will tell you.
Now please step right over here – I’ve got a lovely bridge to sell you.