If Chairman Kim of North Korea
Sees the tweet that I have posted,
I would meet him at the border
Just to say that I have hosted
Yet another useless meeting
With no measurable outcome.
But perhaps he’ll bring me kimchee
Since I won’t go home without some.
I embraced the Saudi Crown Prince
Who arranged for that reporter
To be viciously dismembered.
DMZ – now that’s a border!
Did you see me change the subject?
I won’t talk about his killing,
Hoping Saudis buy our products
And create more jobs – God willing.
This all happened at G20
Where I sat down with Vlad Putin
And, when asked about his meddling,
(No obstructin’, no colludin’)
Wagged my little pudgy finger
In his face and said, “Don’t do it.”
We both found it kinda funny –
How could someone misconstrue it?
Now I’ve flown to South Korea
And perhaps may plant my loafer
‘Cross the DPRK border
If I’m driven by my chauffeur.
Then I’ll come back to this country
And continue blaming others
For my failure to keep children
With their fathers and their mothers.
As the Democrats are starting
To debate in open forum,
I’ll weigh in on all those losers
With no pretense at decorum.
As I fight for re-election
And claim I have been the greatest,
I will fend off allegations
Of a rape. Which one? The latest.
Is the race for 2020
Underway now? Goodness gracious!
It appears this next campaign will
Set new records for salacious.
Seems our leaders chosen now on
Not much more than spit and polish.
But if I run on my record –
Jesus Christ, I’ll be demolished.