If you want to cross our border, then you’ll have to take a test.
Question Number One is easy: “Name the President who’s best.”
If you want to be American, you’ve got to learn our history;
Tell me how the Constitution works – since I find it a mystery.
Bonus points for speaking English – but you don’t need to be Shakespeare.
Next: please name at least four of five (or is it six?) Great Lakes here.
We don’t need unskilled employees: we want doctors and more nurses.
And you’ll have to pay some fees, so bring your wallets and your purses.
We’ll transition to a system that I’m calling “merit-based.”
Effort looking slapdash as we launch it in apparent haste.
How ironic that this project – merit as its mechanism –
Managed by my son-in-law, who got his job through nepotism.
I’m concerned that we promote discrimination against genius.
And that must be true, since I’m your President (keep that between us).
Any flaws in chain migration should be readily apparent,
Even though that’s how my wife brought in her Yugoslavic parents.
Thoughts of showing mercy pass right out once coming into one ear;
I don’t set the best example why someone would want to come here.
My plan is the best plan; it will help turn away riff-raff.
Next up: tackle Roe v. Wade, and undermine all freedoms distaff.