I love to welcome leaders from those lands so far away;
It’s one of this position’s greatest perks.
There’s those to whom Obama wouldn’t give the time of day –
A bunch of them are strongmen; some are jerks.
Most recently I hosted Viktor Orbán on our shores,
From Hungary he came (I think that’s Europe).
I said, “Can’t speak your language.” He said, “OK, I’ll speak yours.”
Praise flowed out of my mouth, as sweet as syrup.
I sent an invitation, in the hopes that we could speak a
Few words about his harsh approach to migrants.
He’s known for being tough; a little spicy – like paprika.
He’s up there on my list of favorite tyrants.
The impact of his visit was precisely calculated,
So please don’t group it in amongst my rashest.
He’s kept out refugees, whereas our country’s been invaded.
He really is a nice guy, for a fascist.
This leader is respected and rules with an iron fist.
His border: not a wall, but razor wire.
I’d like to do that here, but know that OSHA would insist:
An exit clearly marked in case of fire.
Steve Bannon called him “Trump before Trump” – his catchphrase for Viktor,
And Orbán’s fast become my fave Hungarian.
Of course, I must eclipse him – so I’m going to be stricter,
And win the title “Most Authoritarian.”