How do tariffs really work? I guess I’m not that certain.
I thought if I imposed them, then the Chinese would be hurtin’.
But then while watching Fox News I saw my man Larry Kudlow
Say something quite the opposite. That really made my blood flow.
I went to a prestigious school you may have heard of: Wharton.
(Although I transferred in; therefore my tenure there a short one.)
I’ve often made this claim: I graduated with the top rank.
(As true as saying I once got a “small loan” from my pop’s bank.)
While Wharton’s where I say my road to riches had begun,
I might have sometimes skipped a class – like Econ 101.
You can’t find an economist who says I’m in the right here,
Despite made-up statistics, like the ones I like to cite here.
It seems as far as tariffs go, my facts are out of order.
These tariffs, 10 times out of 10, are paid by the importer.
When costs for foreign goods go up, so do domestic prices.
It’s what capitalists will do, left to their own devices.
But really – the solution to this standoff’s pretty easy:
To purchase only goods made here; reject stuff that’s Chinese-y.
Economists don’t know jack-squat; they’re so full of their own selves.
So what if Walmart’s aisles will soon display the barest bones shelves?
I see the Chinese made their move, and in retaliation
They’re raising tariffs on the goods they import from our nation.
This escalation comes as no surprise, nor does their jargon.
A risk to their prosperity – and ours; a devil’s bargain.
Our economy is surging – so it’s odd I’d rock the boat.
I’m mortgaging our future in hopes I’ll secure your vote.
Some people just don’t get it; well beyond their comprehension.
(And mine as well – I wish in Econ class I’d paid attention.)