Chris Christie here: I’m sure it’s clear to you I have an appetite –
For politics, and settling scores, and thinking two wrongs make a right.
I recently released a book. Here’s why I wrote it: I was pissed
That Jared Kushner kicked me off the A.G and the V.P. lists.
Once Donald won the presidency, he gave me a top-shelf mission:
Map out very detailed plans to guide his team through the transition.
I had thought of everything and knew that meant my time had come, sir.
Then I got the ax – and thirty binders went out in the dumpster.
I’m the guy who introduced The Donald to Mike Pence, so that’s news.
In my book I mention how Mike Pence decided he’d back Ted Cruz.
Up until the very last, I thought I’d be the one Trump christened…
My mistake was having Jared Kushner’s loathsome dad imprisoned.
Hope my book will sell a million copies. Title: “Let Me Finish.”
I’m still in the limelight – but the wattage seems to be diminished.
Coulda been Trump’s Chief of Staff, which some thought sounded pretty. It’s
A role that’s destined to be filled by losers and/or idiots.
Trump has hired weaklings, grifters, amateurs, perhaps law-breakers;
I’m the one who had his back – but he was duped by all those fakers.
Please don’t think that I’m the kind who likes to say, “I told you so” – but
Trump’s approach has gotten staler than a day-old jelly doughnut.
The Trump Poems 