Cry, Babies

It’s a minor form of tear gas, and it’s really very safe.
Hardly causes irritation; maybe just a tiny chafe.
I support that we have used it; no ifs/ands or buts or maybes.
And according to the label, it’s approved for use on babies.

This tear gas is so gentle that the only ones who suffer
Are the soldiers at the border who will use it as a buffer.
They responded to some small rocks being pelted at their armor.
If you see a small girl in that crowd, don’t worry – it won’t harm her.

Tear gas comes in different strengths. I bet you didn’t know that.
We used what’s recommended when there’s children to be thrown at.
The Fake News keeps on lying when they claim that there is harm in this;
The formula is safe for kids – we checked it with a pharmacist.

We also used some pepper spray, not much more than a trickle.
All it does is get up in your face and give your nose a tickle.
Any criticism offered toward its use I find invalid
Since it’s made from the same condiment you shake on Caesar salad.

For those now claiming our response was hardly risk-averse,
I say whatever we did – all those migrants did much worse.
The world responds in horror, with their faith and patience trieth.
I remind you David threw a rock – and he took down Goliath.

The Homeland Secretary says this violence was predictable,
Which leaves the reason for the use of tear gas inexplicable.
Soldiers clad in riot gear fight migrants clad in sandals…
We’ll add this shameful treatment to our growing list of scandals.