U.N.believeable

I’m the top-ranking guy on the world’s biggest stage.
I’ll wow the Assembly and then party after.
I’ll deliver my speech, filled with bluster and rage
And intimidate everyone… Hey — is that laughter?

I’ve just gotten started with some shameless boasting
And then, unexpectedly, I hear a titter.
Have these world leaders forgotten who’s hosting?
So I’ll keep on talking, since I’m not a quitter.

Our economy’s booming like never before.
I keep on repeating this point, as if factual.
It’s all about me – screw this esprit de corps.
I make up statistics, can’t bother with actual.

Last year, on this same stage, I mocked and belittled
The “Rocket Man.” Now look – the chairman’s my close chum.
The claims that I’m making, with falsehoods though riddled,
Suggest we’ve made progress. And maybe we’ll show some.

This year in my sights I’ve got Hassan Rouhani.
He taunted me, claiming a weakness of intellect.
All during his speech, he just went on and on. He
Did not bow before me; he should be more circumspect.

I went after OPEC; their oil’s too expensive.
And then they expect we’ll provide them security.
If prices go up, they should feel apprehensive —
I’ll let their foes bomb them right into obscurity.

For 35 minutes, within that enclosure,
I laid out my case: we’re the World’s Greatest Nation.
But after those chuckles, I lost my composure
So blasted the women in Brett’s situation.

I called it a con game, promoted by Democrats,
And seemed to imply at least one chick deserved it.
Why should we believe them, especially when no facts?
And we won’t depose anyone who observed it.

I forwarded tweets saying “Speech was spectacular!”
Reaction from world leaders: “Meh.” They are clubby. What
Do I care if these stiffs trashed my vernacular?
The General Assembly can all kiss my chubby butt.

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