Naturally, Disaster

Response to the storm named Maria: incredible! It was an unsung success.
While nearly 3000 in P.R. succumbed – we still managed to save all the rest.
But don’t think we haven’t learned lessons, so I don’t want to hear your complaints or your howls.
As Florence bears down on some southeastern states – you will not see me throw paper towels.

I sat through a briefing regarding the factors required for response this involves.
I asked the best people about this big storm and they showed me which way it revolves.
You know how I like to take credit for everything being the greatest endeavor:
Well, this hurricane will make history as being the biggest and wettest one ever!

We did a great job down in Texas and Florida when they were flooded with water.
We would have done better in P.R. if that mouthy mayor had helped more; I fought her.
P.R.’s an island that’s far, far away – and considering all of their problems,
Things could have turned out much worse; just imagine if they had all been Guatemalans.

People who live on the coast where it’s hitting should jump in their cars and start driving.
Get far away, just as fast as you can, to ensure any hope of surviving.
Chances are good that you’ll all lose your houses and property since it’s immense.
No need to worry, though – we’ve got experience putting up families in tents.

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