The Last Best Place To Save Face

Hello there, Montana! You love law and order:
Your man Gianforte beat up a reporter.
If you fail to vote, that’s a wound rubbed with salt:
If I get impeached by the Dems — it’s your fault.

I’ve done nothing wrong; doesn’t matter who says.
And yet Dems are targeting your favorite Pres.
If they win the midterms, they’ll come with guns blazing.
(A Second Amendment conundrum — amazing!)

So, why kick me out? Things are going so great!
The Dems are the party of anger and hate.
I modestly claim to be Fave of All Time.
As long as I’m pro-life — who cares if I’m lyin’?

If Dems win the midterms, then let me say bluntly:
Our nation becomes just a big Third World country.
If we lose control of the Senate and House,
Our right-wing views we can no longer espouse.

Judge Kavanaugh’s intellect? Far out of reach.
(Do you understand me? I’m slurring my speech.)
The anger and meanness against him? It’s sick!
Just because overturning Roe’s his bailiwick.

Seems lately, harsh words like rhetorical bullets were
Fired at me. Trigger man once won a Pulitzer.
Woodward’s book questions my brains and stability.
While I’m pretty competent, he lacks credibility.

Again, it’s the deep state I blame for this slander:
None loyal to me would usurp their Commander.
Who wrote that op-ed and cast forth those aspersions?
We’ll charge him with treason, or her with subversion.

You know who else Fake News once claimed as their victim?
Poor Abraham Lincoln; his Gettysburg Dictum.
Reviews then were poor; now we’ve all memorized it:
“Four score and about…” well, I’ll just summarize it.

I thank you, Montana, for your warm embrace.
I love to fly in and then fire up my base.
Remember to vote: an important decision.
The outcome determines if I go to prison.

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