An Honest Day’s Jerk

Labor Day is over, but now the work begins.
First up: there’s a Supreme Court judge we’ve got to shoehorn in.
I’ve got to piss off Canada; that’s all part of my plan.
You talk about your labor… I’m a very busy man.

The AFL and CIO are headed by a leader
Who represents them poorly. He’s a real bottom-feeder.
Working men and women: what has this chump done for them?
I labeled him the worst thing I could think of: he’s a Dem!

I made a deal with Mexico; it’s worth its weight in gold.
(That’s not remotely true — but how it’s going to be sold.)
And then, of course, Jeff Sessions… What will I do with him?
He disappoints at every turn; his future looks quite grim.

I said I didn’t wanna, but if I must I will
Take over at the DOJ; make mountain from molehill.
My two beloved supporters, Duncan Hunter and Chris Collins,
Are being persecuted as if they were friends of Stalin’s.

Our economy is booming; at least, that’s the stance I’m taking.
Even though it hasn’t added much to what most folks are making.
I don’t like when the credit’s given to the guy before me.
The news is fake when critical, and worse when they ignore me.

I’ll be flying off to rallies and inciting mass hysteria
With claims of violence after midterm votes; I’ll put the fear in ya’.
My deal with North Korea? I was sold a bill of goods.
But thankfully I’ve got lukewarm support from Tiger Woods.

Everything is going great – I’m working very hard.
Ignoring polls that say I’m hoisted on my own petard.
I’ll keep up the attacks on Robert Mueller and brigade,
Ignoring the incriminating statements that I’ve made.

So much is on my plate; the country doesn’t even know.
I’m busy morning, noon and night – I’m always on the go.
The biggest effort I am making? This should turn out wonderfully:
I’m working most of all to get my handicap down under three.

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