The Station Agent

When I take off in Air Force One
With wife in tow, and sometimes son,
I like for things to be just so –
A Diet Coke, Big Mac to go.

I might indulge in something sweet
Then take a nap, or send a tweet.
But most importantly to me
Is what plays on the big TV.

There’s just one channel that I choose
And – no surprise – it is Fox News.
On “Fox & Friends”: respectful speakers.
All the other channels: leakers.

But recently I came aboard
And found something I thought untoward.
The network causing me most strife
Was being watched by (gasp!) my wife.

I kept the channel choices frugal
So reports re: Karen McDougal
Would not reach her ears and eyes.
(Along with any other lies.)

I raged and broke into a pout;
I told Melania, “Cut it out.”
I just could not believe this scene
And had my staffers intervene.

This all resulted in an email
(Directed at a certain female)
Specifying what’s projected
Since I was the one elected.

Someone asked if this annoyed her.
In response came this rejoinder:
“That’s silly – but, with nonchalance,
The FLOTUS watches what she wants.”

My wife, you know, is very headstrong
And, in this instance, I was dead wrong.
She can watch what she finds pleasin’…
While I return to acts of treason.