Vladimir Putin will visit me soon in DC. (I’ll let that sink in a minute.)
We’ll sit on a couch in the White House while watching TV (and laugh as the talking heads spin it).
After Helsinki, things really got weird; with this visit, they’ll get more absurder.
I think it is better for us to be friends, since his enemies all end up murdered.
I told John Bolton to send out the R.S.V.P. (He wrote a note out, in cursive.)
Everyone’s wondering what my motivation could be, thinking that this is subversive.
Suspicions there’s kompromat lurk in the background; with this meeting, further they’ll grow.
But if there were tapes, you’d have seen them by now. Just coincidence I trashed NATO.
Russians will be here with midterm elections in play; some think that move is quite risky.
I’ll give a tour of the White House to Putin that day. (Afterwards, I’ll slip him his key.)
Some people think I am doing his bidding — I’m brainwashed and under his sway.
But I speak and tweet and decide for myself. (That’s what Vladimir told me to say.)
While in Helsinki I wouldn’t confront man-to-man. Then I retracted my statement.
Next move for me was to jump from the fire to fry pan, trying to issue abatement.
I’m going back and forth more than a pendulum trying to wind up a clock.
Now I am back to the “witch hunt” position – but that shouldn’t come as a shock.
One thing I’ve been very clear about, right since Day One – no way that there is collusion.
I won’t admit to the Dems there’s a chance that they won. (Hope that’s not Mueller’s conclusion.)
I won’t concede there was Russian involvement – not ever; not even a little bit.
That would imply my election was part of a scam and therefore illegitimate.
Putin is coming — so deal with it, folks.
I’m sick of the whispers and tired of the jokes.
No truth to the claims Putin’s said, “Trump — we’re on to ya’.”
(What nobody knows is: my handler’s Melania.)