I got off the plane and was loaded for bear; quickly launched an attack against Merkel.
And then I insulted the rest of our allies while drawing them into my circle.
I claimed we were carrying NATO alone, even though not borne out by the facts.
But when has the truth ever stopped me from launching my vicious, unfounded attacks?
Those pics of John Kelly; the look on his face – body language said he was perturbed.
But Sarah H. Sanders claimed that was because of the breakfast that he had been served.
Our NATO Ambassador, Kay Bailey Hutchison, grimaced as I launched my tenet.
I think she is wishing she’d never relinquished the seat that she held in the Senate.
I badgered our allies and claimed an agreement to escalate spends on defense.
Macron said, “Not true,” but I’ll claim it regardless since you know my ego’s immense.
I walked away having made nice, saying ties to the NATO alliance are strong.
But if you think that’s my last word on the subject – well, buddy, then you would think wrong.
I said that the Germans were under the thumb of the Russians – that’s tough talk from me.
But that’s just a dodge, since I normally speak of Vlad Putin obsequiously.
Right after I insult the Queen I’ll be heading for Finland to meet with my friend,
Where I’ll be debriefed and presented new orders to hasten democracy’s end.