As Easy As ABC

I showed up on the TV and I spoke to Stephanopoulos.
Was cagey with my answers since I really wouldn’t cop to much.
And let’s head off the rumors there’s a problem with my stamina:
I thought I’d be more comfortable if this was done off-camera.

Unlike the current President, I think the FBI
Deserves respect; I will not demonize or vilify.
Their agents were respectful and they treated me with courtesy;
I disagree with Trump, who damned the Bureau with hyperbole.

It used to be: when Trump asked, I was always acquiescent.
But this last year’s been difficult, upsetting and unpleasant.
When Trump and I were rolling, it’s as if we both were royalty —
But now my wife, my daughter, son, and country have my loyalty.

I said I’d take a bullet but I didn’t really mean it.
You know if there’s a pee tape, it’s a sure bet I have seen it.
On many issues counsel says I cannot comment further —
But a certain someone should be worried what was on my server.

Some say that charges might be filed against me. If they are,
I’ll defer to my attorney, since that’s in his repertoire.
I said I’m not a villain and I will not be depicted
In a way that people might assume means I’ll soon be convicted.

I think it’s wrong to say what Mueller’s doing is a witch hunt;
It’s just as wrong as saying that this sit-down was a snitch stunt.
It used to be my work for Trump gave me a kind of hard-on, see?
But now I’m trying to get a message out: “You better pardon me.”

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