After 30 years of judging, I am hanging up my robe.
Some wish I’d waited ‘til the end of Mueller’s Russia probe.
I met with Donald Trump, and he assured me he’d consider
A qualified replacement, which I’m sure he’ll post on Twitter.
I ruled on many cases while I sat up on the bench.
Gay rights a winner; Citizens United leaves a stench.
The votes that I have cast have often spanned the great divide:
Conservative or liberal – I’ve been on either side.
I split a lot of hairs in several noted landmark fights.
However, it is fair to say I leaned more to the right.
I took great pride in fostering a spirit of communion,
But on my final day — I really stuck it to the unions.
I went with the majority on DC versus Heller,
Wherein we said guns could be sold to nearly any feller.
And then I took the side in Shelby County versus Holder
That gutted voting rights, permitting states to act much bolder.
But most of the discussion since I said I’d take a hike
Surrounds Roe versus Wade, and what will happen down the pike.
The chance to overturn it sure excites many conservatives,
With liberals afraid what happens if constraint resurfaces.
Donald Trump has stated he wants Roe v. Wade to end.
With two, perhaps three, justices replaced by him, and then
This landmark court decision that affirmed the right to choose
Would be reversed — like 21st Amendment brought back booze.
My son’s Trump’s banker. Learning that fact meant that some did squirm
When hearing that I’m quitting now, and not after midterms.
But why would I decide to hang on several months, in order
To rule on whether Trump should be allowed to shut the border?
The Dems are very upset now, because Mitch from Kentucky
Outsmarted them two times re: SCOTUS (he was not just lucky).
His legislative skill? Replacing justices supreme
To tilt the court far-right. It’s a conservative’s wet dream.
With my replacement set to serve for maybe 40 years,
The pro-choice side will have to deal with some of their worst fears.
Unless Dems’ prayers are answered — and find that they can gain
Two votes: AK’s Murkowski, and S. Collins, who’s from Maine.