I rail against the fake news nearly every stinkin’ day,
And yet these kinds of stories still persist.
I’ve gone so far as sending out a spokesman to relay
My message – then claim he does not exist.
The truth will set you free, it’s said – but freedom has its price.
I’d rather keep the truth close to my chest.
A straight line from my words to truth some might think would be nice,
But floating like a Wiffle Ball is best.
I make up names, I make up facts, I wear makeup sometimes
To make what’s dull and drab appear more vivid.
I take alleged behaviors and I turn them into crimes.
So what if that makes Chuck and Nancy livid?
I like to say, “We’ll see what happens.” Generates suspense!
Untethers future statements from the past.
On many issues, I am swayed as I sit on the fence;
Decisions made by whom I’ve talked to last.
When word comes of staff disarray I always disavow,
Regardless of who, soon after, resigns.
My wife has disappeared from public view for two weeks now,
Yet I tell everyone she’s doing fine.
The size of crowds, the cost of projects, standing in the polls;
I use whatever numbers I think work.
Why do this? Well, you may know it’s long been one of my goals:
I love to drive the media berserk.
The future of our nation: that’s my battle for the soul of;
This narrative regarding how I’m viewed.
The truth is something I, and I alone, must have control of,
Because if it gets out? Oh, man: I’m screwed.