The Bill Gates of Hell

HIV and HPV:
I thought they were the same, you see.
I knew they both were caught through sex,
And people blame their cheating ex.

I also wasn’t really sure
If either sickness had a cure.
There’s one they treat with a vaccine,
But a Kennedy told me, “That’s obscene.”

(Career as a doctor? Coulda had…
But I chose to work with my dad.
Besides, it always was my mission
To be richer than a mere physician.)

The former head of Microsoft
Sat down with me, and told me off:
“Avoiding treatment leads to slaughter.”
I said, “You know who’s cute? Your daughter.”

(I met her at a horsey show
I hosted several years ago.
We chatted for a bit, then next it
Came time for a hasty exit.

I made another entrance, and
I figured folks would think it grand.
I knew they’d find it a jaw-dropper:
My re-emergence via chopper.)

Gates said perhaps a science advisor
Would help to make me that much wiser.
The job was his, but he said, “I’m
Not sure a good use of my time.”

Bill Gates, in a surprising twist
Comes after Bezos on Forbes’ list.
And just in case you might have wondered:
I’m not found in the Top 500.

But just like Gates, and Bezos, too:
We all are worth much more than you.
We billionaires all have panache
(Although I’m sometimes short on cash.)

So Gates made fun of me – so what?
In arm-wrestling, I’d kick his butt.
He may head some big-deal foundation,
But I’m the leader of a nation.

His stated goal: to die a pauper.
I really don’t think that is proper.
Who’ll benefit from his largesse?
That just means more for me, I guess.

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