The Fear of All Summits

Not getting the credit I think I deserve
For bringing together these guys in Korea.
All presidents past just did not have the nerve,
And now I tell Kim Jong-un: “Can’t wait to see ya’!”

You may have seen pictures – between North and South,
Two leaders shook hands as they stepped in the middle.
Believe the words coming right out of my mouth:
In years past our country was played like a fiddle.

I took a tough stance; got desired effects
When other world leaders continued to blanch.
It also laid groundwork to get rid of Rex,
So he could go stew about me on his ranch.

So far, nothing’s signed – it’s a handshake agreement;
Not sure what the U.S. will give up to settle.
But still I am claiming this crowning achievement:
Let history decide which is black: pot or kettle.

I did sort of get out ahead of my skis
When I said North agreed to denuclearization.
The fact I could spell that long word in my tweets
Is perhaps what the media found most amazin’.

Kim needs to decide if he’ll ride rails or fly,
Then we’ll choose between sites: Singapore or Mongolia.
I’ll email a link with best route to arrive.
(Hope to crack you up, Kim, when you find I rickrolled ya’!)

Word has it that Kim will insist on a promise:
The U.S. agrees not to stage an invasion.
I won’t let him stick this condition upon us
Since I might make a move on his wife, who is Asian.

Another development, quite unexpected:
The clocks between countries lack synchronization.
Once half an hour off, they will soon be corrected.
Now — pizzas delivered on time in both nations.

The war will be finished, the nukes will be gone soon,
And praise will continue to come from Moon Jae-in.
No more “Rocket Man” – he’ll be “Statesman Kim Jong-un.”
The Nobel Peace Prize will be mine for the takin’.

So – I’ll be the man who will get this thing done,
And bring peace to bear. We’ll discuss over dinner.
The war will be over (not saying who won),
But everyone else will declare me the winner.

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