I’m pleased to announce that “America’s Mayor” will soon serve me as an attorney.
I can’t think of anyone better equipped to help steer me through this Russia journey.
I’ve known Rudy G. for a very long time, since the Eighties – that’s half of my life.
I asked, he accepted. Plus he’s got the time, since he’s getting divorced from his wife.
For those keeping score: first Ivana, then Marla; Melania’s wife number three.
Rudy just jettisoned his third wife – so mine is eyeing this step nervously.
But I didn’t bring Rudy on to provide any counsel regarding my marriage;
I need him to help dig me out from this avalanche I call a justice miscarriage.
Rudy was U.S. Attorney, which served as eventual springboard to Mayor.
And since leaving office, he keeps popping up as a wanna-be influence player.
On several occasions, he’s thrown his hat into the ring in a bid for high office,
But quit those campaigns early on when supporters said better for him to cut losses.
So now that’s he’s joining my “Dream Team” of lawyers, along with a couple that’s married,
They’ll quickly unite to keep Mueller and others from finding the bodies I buried.
No beating around the proverbial bush: Rudy says he will bravely go right there
And work to soon bring a quick end to this endless, Dem-driven and damaging nightmare.
I’m all about making big deals, and to wrap up this Russia thing would be sublime.
When I meet with Kim Jong-un, better for all that I have nothing else on my mind.
I told Giuliani, “You handle this right and resolve all the Mueller probe questions,
I’ll quickly install you as A.G., as soon as I manage to squeeze out Jeff Sessions.”