I rented a condo, a bedroom of sorts.
A place just to sleep when in town.
Some friends of mine said I could move in, no problem,
And stay there when I am around.
The people who serve as my landlords are kindly;
A husband and wife – they’re both lobbyists.
An honorable choice of employment, and yet
The press makes it sound like they’re both robbing us.
Now all of a sudden my ethics are questioned
Because of the place where I sleep,
When here I am saving the public big coinage
By renting a place that’s so cheap.
The issue, it seems, is the price that they charge me:
A deal much too sweet to be proper.
The more I attempt to explain this, the more that it
Sounds like I’m telling a whopper.
I fly out of town, different places each week;
I bring along my entourage.
I just need a crash pad when back in DC.
Heck, I’d stay in somebody’s garage.
I’ve been to Morocco; I went to the Rose Bowl;
I took my kids to Disneyland.
All trips in first class, since I’m scared of the public.
I don’t deserve this reprimand.
There’s also the matter of two of my staffers
Who got great big raises, despite
The White House refusing approval. Side-stepped it —
Perhaps a mistake in hindsight.
I claimed to know nothing about this kerfuffle.
And said I was going to rescind.
An anchor (from Fox News!) asked good, hard, tough questions;
I came across sounding thin-skinned.
My job is protecting our air and our water,
Which I think is mostly accomplished
When government tries not to stick its nose in it.
I’ve had some past standards demolished.
But as of this moment, the President’s saying
He’s fond of the work that I’m doing.
Of course, he’s been known to proclaim staffers safe
And then ax them if more trouble’s brewing.
He says I’m effective as EPA head —
Just hope I can get through this drama.
There’s much to be done as I work to reverse
All the policies passed by Obama.