I took all the credit when stocks hit their peak, saying, “Look at your 401(k).”
But what I hath given the Dow Jones with one hand, the other hath taken away.
Jeff Bezos is richer than me – so he claims – and quite frankly that pisses me off.
So now as I trash him, I’m dragging the stock market screaming into a deep trough.
His company – Amazon – rips off our Post Office; as a result, billions lost.
And all because (see if you follow me) he pays the Post Office what postage costs.
If he would pay more, then the P.O. would profit. Financially, that sure makes sense.
That’s how I make money at all my Trump properties: we keep on raising the rent.
Of course, what I’m really upset about is the newspaper that Jeff Bezos owns.
The Washington Post, which is failing and fake – yet somehow its subscriptions are growin’.
I don’t read the papers, or watch much TV – I’m too busy, and most are uncouth.
But the National Enquirer and Sinclair-owned stations are where you can find out the truth.
I’m also beginning a trade war with China; that might have some kind of an impact.
And then there is NAFTA, the Mexican cash cow – I’m threatening to cancel that contract.
But mostly it’s Bezos I’m looking to crush. Creating jobs, I should wish luck to him.
However, according to Vanity Fair, I’m obsessed with how much I can fuck with him.
Jeff Bezos sends rocket ships up into space, just one of his many endeavors.
He may be a smart guy, but I am much smarter; you won’t find a fellow more clever.
There’s so many ways I am better than he, so Bezos will have to beware.
And who makes more effort? He just shaves his head, yet look what I do with my hair!