What If –

If you can keep your hair when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust that Mike Flynn won’t sell out you,
And make up facts with every day that’s new;
If you can wait… oh, Jesus – who’re we kidding?
You lie and yet insist we should believe;
If you can get Marc Short to do your bidding,
And watch as all your staffers start to leave:

If you can scream – but not scream at McMaster;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If choice is only Carnage or Disaster,
The fault for which you’ll never take the blame;
If you can bear to hear the truth from others,
Twisting knives already plunged in place,
Or watch as “Fox & Friends” chooses your druthers,
And stoop so low you barely can save face:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on another shaky bet,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your debt;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To keep reversing all your points of view,
And so hold on when Dems call bullshit on you,
Once more you’ll tweet the comeback of: “FAKE NEWS!”

If you can talk with crowds about your virtue
While porn stars and nude models claim you touched;
If nothing Putin does seems to alert you;
Tax cuts for middle class, but not too much;
If you can drain the swamp this very hour
And keep your distance from Bob Mueller’s reach,
You and your girth may hold on to your power,
And – which is more – you might not get impeached!